My First Heartache

By Anonymous, 16

You burned

Your smile into my eyes.

I thanked you for this gift,

And tucked it on my lowest shelves

So I could 

Pluck it easily when I am down

And summon your warm laugh

The way you clapped, fell back

Into the sofa

And grasped your aching sides.

On my lonely nights,

I sighed at the sight of

Your eyes wrinkled at the corners,

Fingers dabbing your tears of

Joy across your freckled canvas.

On a Monday in June,

I realized 

I love you.

On a Wednesday in July,

When you pulled out of the driveway,

Left me inside our home alone

My mind,

From dusk to dawn,

Replayed clips of you 

and your crooked teeth 

In your brightest smile.

That burned.

Baking like bread,

The best parts of yourself

You gave to her. 

The “new” me.

Now she

Smiles with your dimpled cheeks,

Your tongue-and-cheek humor.

She seethes with your temper too. 

When I cradled her hand,

Your flames, rolling waves

From your shoulders to hers,

Scorched my fingers and cheeks

Until I bled.

And then you left her too.

Rear-ended her heart.

Where do you drive to now?

---

Everyone knows the saying “Dads are a daughter’s first love.” At the start of my life, my dad was my own Prince Charming: he offered his shoulders for sight-seeing and flying, he helped me learn to ride a two-wheel bike, and he took me on endless trips to the library without complaint. But, as the years have gone by, we’ve grown apart in some ways. I hope one day we can reconcile, but until then, here is a poem about his lovely smile.

Photo by Brittani Burns