False Independence
By Will Lieber, 18, Illinois
For many young adults, college represents a welcome step away from their parents. They can finally live on their own, savoring the freedom of a truly independent lifestyle. Teens can finally party and date as they please without a single ounce of parental intervention.
As a first semester college student, however, I’ve found that this perception of independence does not actually represent the school experience. College, under most conditions, is not a state of total independence, and for most young adults, this is not a bad thing.
Independence means that you do not rely on anyone else in order to function. By this definition, most college students are not as independent as they may say they are. College is expensive, and the majority of college students rely on their parents for financial support. This is not their fault- a diploma costs a king’s ransom. However, it is ignorant to think that without paying for your own tuition, housing, meal plan, health insurance, phone bill, car and more, you can be truly independent.
College, still, is not devoid of freedom. It provides many steps towards independence in other aspects of life, especially time management. This is both a blessing and a curse, as many young adults find that the complete lack of structure leaves them easily distracted until they can figure out how best to spend their newfound surplus of free time. Another aspect of independence in college is the freedom of thought. In higher education, many students encounter new ideologies and backgrounds, which broadens their mental and intellectual horizons.
Time management and conscientiousness are valuable traits of a well-rounded adult, but we must remember that moving away from home does not represent unequivocal independence. True independence requires financial stability that we will not have until our work in college is done, and we have used our experiences to secure jobs allowing us to live how we please.
This misunderstanding of independence is important to recognize because needing other people is okay. The pretense that the independence granted by college translates to a need to live life completely on your own is unhealthy. College is meant to prepare us for working life, but it is not meant to accelerate us into adulthood. American culture values individuality and the ability to survive on one’s own, and parts of college life embody this expectation that we can thrive independently. Despite this, I feel that growing towards independence should be a gradual change, and leaning on others throughout this process for advice and support should be encouraged, not seen as abnormal.
This commentary is not meant to demean college students; I am among those seeking personal growth during this unique experience. The point is to present another perspective on this process of education. I believe that some degree of dependence on others is not a sign of weakness, but of strength and maturity: we still, and possibly always will, need the support of loved ones in our lives.
I was inspired to write this after coming to college and interacting with many of my peers. My image of what college would look like was very different from what I encountered, and this opinion article is a product of my thoughts on those differences.
