Why You Need to Ditch Your “Dream Job”
By Abigail Zajac, 20, Missouri
I know many readers of this site are often fixated on graduation. Whether that be from college or from high school, most of us are obsessed with an end goal. I remember my last semester of high school, I had an app on my phone counting down the literal seconds until I walked across the stage.
Living in a postmodern world, we tend to always be looking for the next big thing. Our screens and algorithms are designed to constantly show us new, new, new. Shoving products in our faces that promise to fix that one thing that is “imperfect” about our lives.
This mentality always leaves me feeling empty. I graduated, packed my stuff up, and moved on to my next step, college, imagining that my life would suddenly transform into everything I’ve ever wanted. But there I was, sitting in my dorm room, feeling not the satisfaction of knowing I successfully made it through a global pandemic, and twelve years of school, but panic over what was next.
I know so many people who fretted their senior year away by worrying about getting into the “perfect school” or finding the “perfect major.” Then, I came to know so many people who felt like failures because they changed their major or didn’t declare one.They believed that this indecision equated to a lack of direction or purpose in their life.
I even know people who dropped out of college or are choosing not to go through higher education at all. These people that I know treat themselves the most poorly of all. They talk about themselves as if they have committed a sin by choosing to skip or take a break from a corrupt system.
All of these people have two things in common: one, they feel like failures, and two, they are fixated on finding their dream job. Our society perpetuates the myth that happiness is dependent upon work. On some fundamental level, most of the people I know feel as though their worth as a human is dependent on what they do for a living, therefore, all of these current waitresses, sales associates, bartenders, and babysitters are fixated upon what they will do after they have their diploma.
It is crucial to these people that whatever comes next for them pays more than what their parents make and has more prestige than their roommates, girlfriends, brothers, etc. There is this aching hole in them that only the perfect job will fix. So they take internships and job shadow, they fix resumes and collect accolades in hopes that, on paper, they will appear worthy of their imaginary dream job.
According to CNBC, 56 percent of Americans spend more time at work than with their family, so it only makes sense that many people my age, who are about to go into full-time careers, want to make sure they are in love with where and how they are spending the majority of their time.
Yet work is not life. The purpose of employees is not joy, but functionality and profit. One cannot find emotional fulfillment in a system if that system’s main function is material gain.
So myself, and many other people like me, walk into failure. We start a new job or internship that we think will get us a step closer to the “dream job” and are ultimately disappointed when it doesn’t immediately bring us total contentment. We are hurt when a “work wife” doesn’t want to go out for drinks or when the project we are given brings us more stress than satisfaction.
My good friends and I have been making an effort to reframe our career goals to avoid these “quarter life crises.” We focus on our core values and make sure they align with our work. For example, it is important to me that I help create sustainability within my community. One of my friends’ values is showing up for life or being present.
Knowing these things about ourselves can allow us to revalue our work. Instead of being focused on achieving a manager position at twenty five, I am hoping that I have created at least one project at my job that gives back to my community in a sustainable way. When looking for careers, my friend is focused on finding positions that involve managing customer experience, knowing she will derive satisfaction from solving clients’ problems.
There is no end goal, no perfect finishing point to any career, however, there is a snowball effect of satisfaction that builds when you measure your success and happiness by how you are contributing to your values.
It is also worth mentioning that work-life balance is necessary for this value system to work. I want to acknowledge that many people do not have the privilege of viewing a career in this way, and for some people work life balance is out of the question. This article was written for people with that privilege in hopes that they can reframe the way they view work and eventually help shape the system in a way which brings work life balance to everyone.
With that being said, I believe it is equally important that the things you do outside of your work add on to your value system. For example, I make sure that I recycle and compost at local sites in my community. My friend makes sure that she uses clear communication and empathy when listening to her friends and family.
Work is not the only way you have value. The truth is that one career cannot make you whole. You will never find perfect satisfaction in your work because there is no such thing as a dream job. Whatever you do for a living is only supposed to be a fraction of your life, so go out there and find what you value.
@abi_zajac
