The Noble Food Fight
Layla, 15, Illinois
All the lords and ladies dressed in white
Are going to a party tonight
All the lords and ladies dressed in white
Are marching in a line, what a sight
Up to the royal banquet hall
Which sits atop a grassy knoll
All the lords and ladies stream through the door
And onto the royal dancing floor
And lo! what assails their eyes
But food, meat, veggies, and a lot of pies
And one, the Royal Advisor Hady
Throws a cake at the nearest lady
Mad, she throws one quickly back
And so begins the Food Attack!
What sails through the air but a rack of roast beef
Giving the lord that it hit much greasy grief
Say! Where is the crawfish etouffée?
It’s there! On the hair of our Lady Renee!
Listen closely and you will hear
The draining of a pint of beer
On the nearest lady’s head it is poured
No other food or drink is left ignored
‘Cept for that big pot of porridge over there
Whose consistency seems meant to scare
All the lords and ladies jump right in
And begin to cause an awful din
All start feuding with one another
As noble brother dirties noble brother!
That’s what I heard on that grassy knoll
Maybe white’s not the color for a banquet after all.
This poem was written for a medieval feast that my friends were holding. Although I wrote this when I was younger, I’m proud of it. It came from a long desire to hilariously chuck food at another human being!
