Demystifying networking in undergrad: a failure and a success

By Will Lieber, 21, Illinois

When I heard the term “networking” growing up, it conjured images of men in suits playing pool in a cigar smoke-filled back room of a dingy bar. Outside of family or friend insider information allowing me to dodge a potentially poor boss at a minimum wage job, I rarely needed to network for myself in professional contexts prior to college. Thus, when I arrived at university, green and wide-eyed, I had absolutely zero idea of how to “network,” though I repeatedly heard it was a critical part of advancement in college and subsequent career. I knew I needed to make connections with people that would ideally provide me with good opportunities, but I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know how to make these fabled connections, and I definitely didn’t know how to use them. Was I supposed to just ask for things, and like a genie in a bottle, the wish would be mine?

Come the end of my sophomore year, I needed to land a summer opportunity, ideally in research. I was eyeing the premier United States publicly funded research institution: The National Institutes of Health (NIH), which conveniently offered summer internships. Inconveniently, I had to submit an application, and then, because no researchers actually read the applications, convinced them to look at my profile. This process, by design, was networking prime time.

I sent dozens upon dozens of emails garnering very few responses, and of those few, zero responses that moved me towards a summer internship. The first phone call I landed was not even by my own merit, but through a connection my dad had with an old friend. I nervously wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans and prepared to take a swing at the one chance my dad had landed me.  

The man I was speaking with was the principal investigator (PI, basically the boss) of the lab at the NIH. He was extremely accomplished and well respected in his field. He was exactly the type of person I was eager to spend my summer working for. As we weaved through the niceties of our phone call, I eventually sheepishly revealed that I had no research experience. I tried to buttress this phone-call-ending detail with the fact that I was supposed to learn R  (a common statistical language) in the coming semester. To make matters worse, my description of my previous experience was followed by an awkward silence on the other end of the phone. I rushed to fill this silence with a line that is the exact opposite of how you are supposed to network: “so, do you think you could get me a job?”

I nearly winced at his response. He exclaimed that he barely knew me, that he was just doing my dad’s friend a favor by talking to me, and that he had high schoolers coming to him with more research experience than I had. He told me to do something useful, like to “learn machine learning or something.” Basically, to go suck an egg.

To say I was hurt isan understatement. I spent so much time recruiting for and agonizing over summer opportunities such as this one. I felt like I was at a breaking point. Why didn’t he want me?

In retrospect, after allowing myself to become emotionally distanced from the phone call, the answer to that question is more obvious. Yes, he was crotchety, stuck up, and mean in delivering his answer, but he was right. I didn’t stick out from anyone else. I didn’t have much of a meaningful connection to him, and what I did have, I butchered right in front of him like a Thanksgiving turkey. 

As I continued my hunt for summer work, I came across an internship with a professor I had emailed when I first arrived on campus. I had a habit of letting emails fly like there was no tomorrow to people whose work I was interested in. My first semester at school, I was scheduling 2-3 cold emails a day to faculty I had never met. While I didn’t quite understand the art of networking, I had cold emailing down to a science. Earlier in the semester, she had told me to check back with her closer to the summer. I had completely forgotten about her response, but after stumbling across the summer position in her lab, I applied earnestly. 

In my interview with her, we talked more about her work, my interest, and about my initial email to her. The position in her lab was extremely statistically rigorous, and I still had very little experience with data science. Yet, she still took a chance on me and hired me for the summer. Why did she do that?

Networking, in my experience, is not making huge, improbable asks to people you don’t know. It is simply relationship building. It is taking genuine interest in people and their work, and wanting to share in that with them. It is remembering people you look up to and want to work with, being kind to them, and trying your best to give as much as you take. Connections may give you opportunities to get to know people, but you still have to do the hard work of pouring into those new relationships to show your connection why they should take a chance on you. In many ways, this process of relationship building mirrors how many would attempt to build new friendships. Treat them respectfully, work hard, and thank them profusely. Replying promptly and sending handwritten thank you cards are excellent ways to show people they are a priority to you. Remembering names, what your professor’s kids are up to, and what they enjoy can go a really long way.

Although these pointers can help you build relationships, I don’t think they will work if you are manufacturing your interest in the person in the first place. People have strong sniffers for detecting ingenuity, and without a strong interest in the person or their work, one may struggle to build a fruitful relationship. Authenticity is important— do you really want to get to know them, or are you just interested in what that relationship may bring you?

It’s worth mentioning that my networking flop was with someone at an institution that was not my own while my success was with someone I was fortunate to go to school with. It’s possible the professor I worked with over the summer was more likely to open my email because she saw that I was an undergraduate at her school. It’s also possible that the summer opportunity at my school was less competitive than the one at the NIH. Nonetheless, I made some egregious errors in conceptualizing what networking is, and I perceive my failures and successes as still worth sharing. 

My experiences “networking” come from my first few years in undergrad, and my views on networking could certainly change if I enter graduate school or the workforce. However, my suspicion is that the core principles will stay the same: treat people kindly, be intentional with fostering your relationships, and show a genuine interest in those you talk to.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez